A Study in Security and Identity, Part I: The Restoration of Peter
I have to wonder if there might have been some Christ-follower in the crowd on the Day of Pentecost asking silently just who Peter thought he was.
After all, it hadn’t been that long ago that Peter had disgraced himself by denying – in Jesus’s great moment of need – that he even knew Jesus. And he did it not once but three times!
Three times he had the opportunity to stand like a man and announce his allegiance to Jesus as his friend and teacher, and all three times he failed miserably.
And yet, there we have it: the same Peter who so completely befouled his reputation as a friend of Jesus in that dark moment had the audacity to stand before thousands only a few weeks later and proclaim Christ as if he had served his master faithfully all his life!
How to account for Peter’s transformed self-image? How could he rebound from such deep spiritual shame to such confident spiritual boldness?
Peter’s colossal failure and subsequent restoration make a splendid case study in security and identity. The night Jesus was arrested, Peter’s self-concept was devastated. In a period of a few hours, Peter moves from braggadocio (“I’m ready to die for you!” Luke 22:33) to catastrophic failure and disgrace, denying Christ three times (v. 54-62).
This was a collapse of monumental proportions. So far as Peter was concerned, he had lost everything in that awful moment: his identity as one of Jesus’s hand-picked Twelve, his secure insider position as one of the three disciples Jesus included in special moments like the Transfiguration… he had burned it all in a few moments of blind panic.
Luke tells us that when Peter heard the rooster crow and remembered that Jesus had predicted what he would do, “he went outside and wept bitterly.” His remorse and self-loathing were surely bottomless.
Think how any one of the popular false narratives might have sounded to him. Was he tempted to find his identity and security in any of them? Did he indulge in the kind of toxic self-talk that still tempts us today?
1. Finding his identity and security in self-justification: It would have been cold and small comfort, but he could remind himself how the terror of that moment drove him to such an awful place. As he rehearsed the events of that night, could he find some way to tell himself he had no other choice?
2. Finding his identity and security in his professional skill set: “I’ve lost my status as a follower of Jesus, but I can still make my way in the world in a fishing boat.” In fact, he may have had just that in mind when, after the Resurrection and before Jesus fully restores him, he announces to the other disciples, “I’m going fishing” (John 21:3).
3. Finding his identity and security in what other people think: He might have tried to find a sympathetic ear who could offer him false, saccharin reassurances. The more a friend cares for us, the more he or she will be tempted to offer condolence instead of asking the probing questions we actually need to hear.
So how did Peter discover, as all Christ-followers must, that there is nothing we can do make God love us more… or less? How did this ruined disciple come to understand that God’s love is faithful and steadfast, even when we are not? How was he able to stand up and represent the voice of the church on the Day of Pentecost, only weeks after his monumental collapse?
Scripture gives us a few clues about how Peter was able to recover his holy boldness. And we can see that there is no pulling himself up by the bootstraps here. Peter’s restoration depended 0% on his own efforts and 100% on God’s gracious intervention.
1. Jesus spoke for Peter: In that heady, euphoric moment when Peter was filled with righteous zeal about how he was ready to die with his teacher and master, Jesus looked at him and told him that he was in a far more precarious position than he knew: “Simon, Simon, look out. Satan has asked to sift you like wheat. But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail” (Luke 22:31).
It was true with Peter just as it is with us and our failures: Jesus knows and has already paid the penalty for all our sins. No matter how catastrophic our collapse, we never take him by surprise. And regardless of whether we are obedient or rebellious or zealous or lackadaisical, he is ever and always our faithful High Priest, constantly interceding for us before the Throne of Grace (Heb. 4:15-16).
That steady stream of Christ’s intercessory prayer for his people is invisible to us. It runs in the background, but by it God sustains and restores us in our nonlinear, herky-jerky, three-steps-forward-two-steps-back journey toward wholeness and holiness.
Even in the depths of Peter’s despair, Jesus’s faithful intercession for his fallen disciple was already beginning to work to restore his identity and security as his friend and God’s child.
2. Jesus spoke to Peter. John’s gospel records the interaction between the resurrected Jesus and the fallen disciple. It was not the first time Peter had seen his risen Lord, but in that moment Jesus addressed Peter directly (John 21:15-17).
He asked Peter if he really loved him. Peter, surely stung by the question but knowing why it had to be asked, answered that of course he loved Jesus. When Jesus asked the same question again and then again, Peter must have remembered that this thrice-repeated question corresponded with his three-fold denial, and the sting of his shame must have been keen.
But notice how Jesus restores him. Peter’s restoration is indirect. It doesn’t need to be said that Jesus forgives Peter, and he doesn’t say it. Instead, he restores Peter by assigning him his task: “Feed my sheep.”
Now Peter had a restored identity, now he had the security of knowing the Master he had betrayed still accepted him and wanted to use him in his service.
So how did Peter recover his sense of self well enough and soon enough to stand before thousands and speak for his Lord?
In one sense, he did nothing.
Jesus spoke for him. He interceded for Peter in prayer.
And Jesus spoke to him. Jesus put Peter back into service.
It was Jesus who restored Peter.
But in another sense, there was one thing Peter had to do: he had to repent. Not of his sin. He had already repented of his sin, weeping bitter tears of sorrow.
But he also had to repent of his righteousness. He had to lay aside all the false narratives that he might have wanted to use to regain his self-respect.
In other words, Peter had to preach the gospel to himself. His self-respect died that dark night when Jesus was arrested; he had to come to see that only the grace of Christ could restore what was broken in him.
In the same way, when we have fallen into sin – either through rebellion or, as in Peter’s case, cowardice, or some other motivation – when we experience the terror of seeing our self-image torn to shreds, we have a choice between three options:
1. We can wallow in our despair and self-loathing. We know the devil, the “accuser of the brethren,” is right about us. We have no business calling God our Father. (This is where the prodigal son was before he resolved to return home.) We can stay in that state of bleak despair and punish ourselves indefinitely, even though Jesus has already endured our punishment.
2. We can try to rehabilitate our self-image by embracing a false narrative: our work, the esteem others show to us, our own self-justifying devices. But God’s Spirit, in His sanctifying grace, will never let us be satisfied with the reassurance we find in false narratives. So the longer we cling to those faulty mechanisms, the greater our sense of unease will grow: we know better.
3. We can preach the gospel to ourselves. Just as we did when we first trusted Jesus, we can again throw ourselves on the mercy that God has shown us in Christ. We can remind ourselves that Jesus is not our accuser, he is our intercessor (Romans 8:34). And we can hear, in God’s Word, His gracious words of restoration: “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17, NIV).
In other words, when we fall, when we fail, when we are struggling to regain our moral and spiritual composure, we need do the same thing we’ve always needed to do: lean into the grace that God has shown us in Christ and find our identity and security there.
Persevere.
Paul Pyle
Discipleship Pastor
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