My neighbor needs to know about Jesus: How do I tell him?
I recently attended a workshop on how to reach my neighbors with the Good News about Jesus. The workshop was hosted by Dave Holmes, pastor of Centerville Grace Brethren Church, who told us the story of the seven steps he has taken to reach out to the people who live in his neighborhood.
But before he started with the steps, he pointed out that Gospel-sharing has become a cross-cultural endeavor in our post-Christian culture.
He’s right, of course.
The Gospel simply doesn’t resonate with people now the way it used to. Gone are the days when Christianity and the church were automatically accorded a respectful hearing. In agricultural terms – and the Scripture describes evangelism in just those terms – the soil must be prepared before seed can be planted.
Hence seven stages.
When Dave asked, “What is the first stage?” I answered, “Get to know their names.”
Wrong.
Stage One: Prayer
The first stage doesn’t directly involve my neighbors. It involves me and God. I begin by praying for my neighbors, by name if I can.
We pray for our neighbors for their sake as well as ours. We ask that God will begin to prepare their hearts to hear about Jesus. In Jesus’ Parable of the Soils (Matt 13), there are four kinds of soil, but only one kind of soil is productive. We pray that God’s Spirit will prepare our friends’ hearts to receive the seed of the Word.
But the very act of praying for our neighbors changes us as well. As we pray, God deepens our love for our neighbors so that our love for them more closely reflects His love for them.
Stage Two: Loving well by acts of service
We open the doors to friendship with acts of service. These are not grand gestures but small acts of kindness we extend to our neighbors – shoveling snow, taking them a plate of fresh-baked cookies, helping organize a block party.
But – and this surprised me – Dave said that this might also involve being willing to be served. As we make friends of our neighbors, they may very well reciprocate by serving us. And we must be willing to enter into those relationships by being served as well as serving.
Stage Three: Building relational trust
Here’s where we begin to address the credibility gap that the church has in our culture. People don’t want to hear us talk about Jesus until they know they are safe with us.
We can demolish that safe space by jumping in to correct our neighbors’ faulty notions of the church or the Bible. But we don’t build trust by being right; we build trust by listening patiently and carefully.
Dave pointed out that we will know we’re building trust when our neighbors invite us into their space. They may invite us into their homes, or they may invite us to one of their kids’ concerts or games.
Dave’s neighbor invited him to a Dave Matthews Band concert. Dave went with his neighbor. It was a new kind of experience for Dave, but when his neighbor invited him, he went to that concert to deepen his growing friendship with his neighbor.
Stage Four: Normalizing God-talk
Spiritual conversations can be awkward in our culture, and this step is difficult for many of us. But the Gospel is a story that must be told, so words are necessary.
Once we’ve gone through the first three steps and established a safe place for this kind of intimacy, one easy way to talk about God with our unbelieving friends is to ask if we can pray for them.
When your neighbor tells you about a difficulty they are facing, you can ask if it would be all right if you could pray for them. If they’re comfortable with the idea, you can do that right then, in their presence, with them. If you sense that they wouldn’t be comfortable with that, you can pray for them offline, when you're not with them, then follow up later to find out how things are going.
Stage Five: Reading the Bible together
Dave suggests buying them a Bible. He suggests an easy translation like the New International Version or New Living Translation. And he even suggests that the Bible we give them be a study Bible, so that they can begin to find answers to their questions as they read.
If your neighbors are readers, assign brief sections to discuss next time you’re together. If they’re not readers, read it when you are together or even read it aloud as they follow along.
A few warnings:
Don't start with John’s gospel –– theologically rich as it is – but with Luke’s gospel. Luke tells lots of stories and shows us lots of situations where Jesus is reaching out to broken, marginalized people.
When you’re talking together about what they’ve read, don’t throw cross-references at them. Stick to the text you’re reading together, even though you know about that great cross-reference in Hebrews. Too much too soon and they’ll quickly be overwhelmed.
Don’t be the “Bible Answer Man.” Don’t be quick to use your own life-long familiarity with Scripture to provide all the answers too quickly. This is a discovery, and they need to discover as they go.
Stage Six: Unveiling the Gospel
As you are reading the Bible together, you can begin to ask questions to help them begin to understand the Good News about Jesus:
Who does Jesus say He is?
What does He want for you?
What does He want from you?
Stage Seven: Asking for a response
When the time is right, you can ask gently if they’re ready to make a decision about Jesus. But don’t rush this step. Your neighbor is not ready for this step until you’ve earned trust and made sure they have at least some understanding of who Jesus is and what He claims to be.
Don’t be in a hurry to close the deal.
This entire process can take years, so don’t get impatient. And it might not even end in your neighbor coming to Christ.
But that is not your concern. Your task is to love your neighbor well and leave the results to the only One who can change hearts.
It’s clear to everyone – both inside and outside the church – that our culture is collapsing. But, says Dave, “What the church sees as a collapsing culture Jesus sees as a ripening harvest.”
Let’s begin by praying for our neighbors.
Then let’s begin to serve and befriend them.
And throughout the process, let’s trust the Lord of the harvest to do His work in the hearts of the people we’re around every day.
One of the titles on our Discipleship Resources Shelf (outside the Family Life Center) expands on these ideas, especially the idea of opening doors through service and pivoting to spiritual conversation in a way that is natural and not forced. Check out God Space by Doug Pollock.
Persevere, Paul Pyle
Pastor of Discipleship