Four Ways to Start a Spiritual Conversation

Last week we talked about seven stages for reaching our neighbors with the Good News about Jesus. This week we follow up as we drill down on the fourth stage: “Normalizing God-talk.” In this week’s post, Matt Hardy, a member of our fellowship, shares four ways to kick-start a spiritual conversation.

According to a 2019 Barna study, more than 95% of practicing Christians believe that being a witness for Christ is an essential part of their faith and that the best thing that could ever happen to someone is for them to know Jesus.

I think it's safe to say that Jesus agrees! The gospel writer Mark records that after His resurrection Jesus said to His disciples, "Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation" (Mark 16:15). Then moments before his ascension into heaven, He sought to assure them saying, "You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth" (Acts 1:8). 

That same call to share the Gospel in the power of the Holy Spirit is ours today. Yet there are several factors that curb our enthusiasm for sharing our faith. Among them is the decline of religion in America and a growing cultural suspicion of people of faith.

Despite seeing the Lord at work in hundreds of spiritual conversations over my twenty-eight years in full-time ministry, I often feel these same fears and a general reluctance to initiate spiritual conversations with others. When the Lord prompts me to initiate a spiritual conversation with someone, I don't always obey or know where to begin. Maybe you relate. I have, however, found that if I'm willing to take the first step of faith in those situations, the Spirit of God provides the discernment I need, directing the conversation along the way.

As I think about how the Lord often moves me from a place of fear and reluctance to a surrendered heart that's willing to initiate a spiritual conversation with someone, several things come to mind. 

First, the Lord often prompts me to pause and pray (inconspicuously) when I'm among others who don't know Him.

When the impulse to pray enters my mind, it's easy to resist it and tell myself any number of excuses (this person isn't interested in God, you'll make a fool of yourself...). But if I submit and pray, the game is on! You see when we pray, we allow God to move us past our fears and reluctance to a place of obedience to engage in a conversation wherever He wants it to go. 

A second way I've seen God open a door for me to initiate spiritual conversations is by practicing the art of noticing.

Matthew 9:36 says of Jesus that "when he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a sheep!" He "saw" the crowds, noticed their harassed and helpless state without a shepherd, and He had compassion on them.

When we take time to notice something about someone else and ask them about it, a conversation is born that God can direct as He pleases. I've asked people to share about a religious tattoo I noticed on their arm or a school logo on their hoodie, or I’ve affirmed them for something caring I saw them doing. Sometimes, those conversations lead to spiritual things and sometimes they don't, but either way they feel noticed and valued.

As Doug Pollock puts it in his book  God Space, "Noticing is a prerequisite to caring about others and serving them in tangible ways that smuggle the Gospel into their hearts." 

Two weeks ago on a flight to Austin, Texas, I noticed that the woman seated next to me had a Bible in her lap. I asked her what part of the Bible she was reading and it led to a two-hour conversation about our common faith in Christ and shared with one another about our desire to lead out spiritually in our families and at work.

On another flight a year earlier, I heard one of the flight attendants say to someone that she wished she could go back to school. Moments later as she strapped in for our descent and arrival, I mentioned I heard her comment and asked why she would love to go back to school. Sensing I really wanted to hear more, she immediately opened up about several poor life choices and the nagging sense that her life lacked real purpose. She asked if I felt a sense of life purpose and that gave me the opportunity to share how placing my faith in Christ has given me a deep sense of purpose in all areas of my life.  

A third way God commonly opens a door for me to initiate spiritual conversations is by asking inquisitive questions that allow someone to share as little or much as they feel comfortable to share.

Recently, I asked a college basketball coach why he continues to coach at a small, under-resourced college when he most certainly had other opportunities elsewhere. He responded (fighting back tears) about his burden to do more than build a successful basketball program but also to build young men who will be great husbands, fathers and leaders in their communities. When I asked him why that was so important to him, he shared that Jesus had transformed his life and he wanted to use basketball as a means to bring his players into a relationship with God. 

I've learned that when you ask someone more about their intrinsic motivations for what they do or why certain things are important to them, it often leads to more honest conversation and relational trust. Questions like "Why is that important to you?" and "Can you tell me more about why you feel that way?" show that you care about their core values and beliefs and open the door for more genuine conversation about what and why we believe about ourselves, about life and God. 

A fourth avenue I've seen God use to create space for a spiritual conversation is the word "sometime.”

Often the notion of talking about one’s spiritual beliefs or experiences in the moment feels too personal or threatening. But I’ve found that if an idea is tossed out for some other time in the future, people often warm up to it. For instance, I might say "Joe, you said something in passing the other day that I can't get out of my mind. You mentioned that your parents got a divorce at the same time your church went through a split. Sometime, if you're willing, I'd love to hear more about that and how you got through it. Would you be up for that?" Those types of casual invitations into deeper conversations make people feel seen and valued, and they create safe space for meaningful conversations on their timetable. 

In an age when there are so many polarizing views about politics, injustice and seemingly something as trivial as how you like your eggs cooked, it can be hard to believe spiritual conversations about God are even possible in the workplace or even in our homes. But we can be assured that God is working in ways we can't see in the lives of every person we meet and He is eager to use us to spread the sweet aroma of the Gospel if we're willing to step out in faith. 

Matt and his wife Sally work with Athletes in Action in Xenia. God Space is available on our Discipleship Resource shelf outside the Family Life Center.

Persevere,                                                                                              Matt Hardy   
Athletes in Action